


Doctor Noir

by LastMafagafo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Noir, Awesome Donna Noble, Detective Noir, Detectives, F/M, POV Donna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastMafagafo/pseuds/LastMafagafo
Summary: Donna Noble needs help. She has been receiving all of those threatening letters, but no one seems to take it seriously. Probably because that's not their lives at risk there! That's why she has to enter that dirty place and ask for help from a skinny detective wearing an oversized pinstripe suit.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Donna Noble
Comments: 22
Kudos: 6





	1. That guy was rather odd

**Author's Note:**

> That's a noir version of Doctor Who, because what could be better than having those two solving mysteries together like in The Unicorn And The Wasp? Oh, I know! Making it 40's cinema classy (In black and white, of course!).

[ ](https://ibb.co/kqT5Dh7)

That was a beautiful noon, but the air was becoming more and more chilling, as the sun went down. My head was killing me, and I would rather be at home, taking a nap, but I had something important to do, and I couldn’t back off. I entered the decadent building, almost regretting my decision to be there. But there was the place I was looking for. “John Smith PI”, was written on the door, so I knocked, waiting for an answer. “Wait a minute,” I heard a masculine voice, followed by the noise of chairs being dragged on a wooden floor, and things being moved. That was weird, but I waited, since that was my last hope to save myself. Finally I heard a “come in”, so I opened the door, to find an incredibly dark room. At least I could take off my sunglasses.

First there was what probably should have been a secretary table, but it was empty and dirty, as the amount of dust was turning the table white. There was an open door behind the table, so I entered. A man was sitting behind a desk. He was wearing a pinstripe suit too big for his skinny figure, and his hair was messy and spiky. As for the office, it was messy with books and papers everywhere. If the delay to answer me was an attempt to clean that mess up, he failed. In general, I wasn’t impressed. Honestly, I was seriously considering going away and leaving that place. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And he was well recommended by Vina, who got a nice deal in her divorce, after all the evidence of her husband cheating on her. 

“Mr. John Smith?” I asked. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, with a smile. I smiled, partly because he reminded me of a weasel (not in the figurative way). Trying to concentrate on my mission, I sat on a chair, in front of his desk. The sudden need to cough came to me. That place was pretty dirty. How could that guy work there? For first impressions that was… a disaster. But never judge a book for its cover. I just hoped he was better than he looked. 

“Don’t you have a secretary or something? That would be way easier if you had one,” I said. “I used to have one, but not anymore,” he answered me, and for a second I felt like his mind was drifting away. 

“I used to be a secretary before… Those were good times.” The best times, actually. When everything was simple and my life wasn't being threatened. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are...” What? He must’ve been joking. How could he not know who I was? The greatest star of the theaters. The great Helen of Troy, Candy Pantomime, Penny Carter and so many others… A Shakespearean actress, nothing less! Well, maybe besides Ophelia in the university theater I never did something really great, but I wasn’t a Jane Doe either. I had my fans… 

“I’m sure you know who I am, love,” I said. “The real question is why I am here.” 

He agreed, which was really wise. At least he was practical, what gave him the benefit of the doubt. 

“Before I start, you have to assure me that conversation will never leave this office. Can you do that?” 

“Absolutely. I’m a professional, ma’am.” “Good,” I smiled. “I think there is someone who wants me dead.” 

“What?” he asked. That was something behind his eyes that looked like immediate interest, mixed with a bit of curiosity, and, if I wasn’t wrong, he looked a bit amused. 

“I’ve been receiving those letters, you see? It’s been four days already, one each day. The message is a bit different, but they all basically tell me to die in a way or another, see?”

I opened my small purse, took the paper off, and gave it to him. John put his glasses on, examining the paper. There wasn’t anything else written aside from the threatening words, all typed. They said basically. “You should’ve been dead,” “Aren’t you ashamed, you slut?” “If I were you, I would kill myself,” and “Die already. No one needs you.” They were all typed in the same way, all in black, with the same paper. Not the most creative threat in the world, but scary enough to make me freak out the last four days, and look for a private investigator in a place like that. Honestly, I wasn’t a big fan of death, especially when I was the one dying. 

“Well… they are pretty hateful, aren't they?” he said, while reading them. What was he expecting? When I said someone was threatening me, it wasn’t with kisses and hugs. “Do you know someone who could write you this, Mrs…” 

Okay, so he wasn’t joking. He didn’t know my name. Not that I was offended or anything but… Come on! Maybe I wasn’t a Lucile Ball or a Katherine Hepburn, but still... 

“You really don’t know who I am?” “I’m sorry,” he said, scratching his neck. He looked like an awkward puppy. “Donna Noble. Does it ring a bell?” I asked, but John Smith still looked puzzled. “Runaway Bride, Partners in Crime, Fires of Pompeii...” 

“I don’t follow the media,” he said, shrugging. 

“It’s theater! And you call yourself a detective?” I asked, astonished. 

“I’ve never lost a case, ma’am,” he said, smirking. 

“Yeah, that’s what I heard,” I rolled my eyes. He was quite cocky, wasn't he? “Answering your question, no. I have no idea who could want to kill me. I don’t have enemies.” 

“Sure,” he said. He didn’t believe me, I saw that in that cocky smirk of his. Well, he probably had his, with that attitude, but I couldn’t think about a single person who would want to kill me. Maybe my mom, but that would be in the figurative sense. If she had to send me notes it would probably be “Have a child”, “Take care of your husband,” or “Stop wasting your time with theater, and do something useful with your life," and all that jazz.

“So, what do you say, Mr. Smith?” 

“Isn’t that a case for the police?” 

“Police? Ha! Those idiots will just get interested in my case after I’m dead. They said they can’t do anything if there wasn’t a crime. But I know the truth, they think I’m a spoiled diva!” 

“And are you?” asked John. 

“No!” I yelled. How dare he even suggest that? I wasn’t a diva! I knew a lot of divas, and I wasn’t one of them, for sure. He had to know my friend Nerys. THAT was a diva. “So, what is your answer?”

“Sure. I was bored anyway,” he smiled. “Let’s go, Donna Noble, let’s find you creepy secret hater.” I smiled back, relieved. He was a bit of a knob, but at least he was the first person willing to help me. “Can I have the notes?” he asked. 

“Sure, I don’t want those things back.” He smelled the paper, frowning a little bit. He looked quite concentrated on that, so I kept myself quiet, just waiting for his considerations. But then he licked the paper. He licked it with his whole tongue, like it was an ice cream! That was disgusting. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Looking for clues. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the process,” he said, smiling. Then he put the letters in his pocket. Thank God I gave it to him for good. No way I would have it back now. “I guess we should discuss the payment first,” he said, walking to the window, before turning back to me with a smirk. Sure, he wanted money. I was surprised he didn’t talk about that before accepting. 

“Money is not a problem,” I said, proudly. 

“Oh, really? So that means I can make my price, right?” he asked, turning back outside. Oy! What did he mean by “make his price”? 

“As long as it is fair, yeah, sure,” I said. “I just want to know why this person is doing that to me, and how to get rid of this lunatic.” He kept looking outside for a while, and just nodded in agreement. That was a bit odd. What was so interesting outside? Did he think we were already done discussing the money? Then he turned back to me. 

“Just a thing, a very small thing indeed. Have you ever noticed someone following you?” he asked. 

“Following me?” I thought about that. I’ve never noticed anything. At least not until that moment. That made me wonder if he saw someone suspicious. “No, I don’t think so. Why?” 

“Oh, nothing, nothing at all… I was just wondering if you had seen someone stalking you, perhaps. Nonsense!” 

“Oh my God, you’ve seen someone, haven’t you?” I asked, already freaking out, but he turned to me, trying to calm me down. 

“Oh, no! No! It’s just a… an ice dream trunk,” he said, smiling. 

What? That was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. 

“Oy! I’m not stupid! What are we gonna do?” 

“Mrs. Noble, you don’t have to worry about anything. I took your case, so now you can let me deal with it.” 

“The heck I will!” I said, scoffing. “Listen here, Sherlock, you can be the PI, but I’m the victim, and I deserve at least to know what is going on around here, so I can try to make something. Anything! If this guy catches me, I don’t wanna die clueless, understand?” I said, raising up and walking into John's direction, pressing him against a wall with my index finger close to poke his eye off. He looked pretty scared. Good!

“Yes, ma’am…” he gulped.

“Good! So, does it mean that I can help?” I asked, excited.

“Yeah… Sure… But try not to do anything stupid. Well, at least stupider than joining me to follow this guy,” he said. I nodded, in agreement. What did he expect? I wouldn’t try to be the hero and run after that guy. At least not in those shoes. But maybe I could help doing something else. I got an idea. A good one!

“I could be the bait.”

“What?”No, no, no, no, no! No way! That's too dangerous!"

"Come on! That's the best way to do this!"

"No!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No... But I would come up with something... eventually..." he said, considering my offer.

“But you didn't. Listen, it's not that bad. While he is following me, you can go and BAM! Surprise element! What do you think?”

“Yeah... That's not bad... Actually, it's pretty good," he smiled. "Donna Noble, you are brilliant!”


	2. Someone is watching us

“Is he watching us?” I asked, as we shook hands.

“Looks like it,” said John, looking over my shoulder. 

“Oh, God! I’m already regretting joining you on that stupid plan,” I confessed, feeling scared.

“But that was your idea.” 

“Exactly!” A terrible idea, indeed.

“You can always turn back and go out by the back door,” he said, a last attempt to convince me to go. As if!

“No, I can do it!” 

Having a deep breath, I let go of his hand, and started to walk away. John Smith went back to his house, and I felt a bit alone and unprotected. But he said he would look for me, and follow the guy, so the only thing I had left was trust. I kept walking down the street, as slow as I could without looking suspicious, praying for John Smith to help me if I needed. 

Suddenly, I heard a sound behind me, of someone falling on the ground. I turned, and there he was, the detective, holding a guy against the ground. The only problem was that the guy beneath him was my driver.

“Detective! What the heck are you doing?” I asked, running to save the poor man.

“Look, Mrs. Noble, I got him!” he said, smiling as a little boy on Christmas morning. The idiot!

“What? No, you didn’t! This is my driver, Harry.”

“Harry?” John looked down, facing the man who was still being held against the floor. 

“But… But he was standing there… he was looking at… Oh! I see...” John raised up, helping Harry to stand as well. “Sorry, Harry. My fault.”

“No problem, sir,” said poor Harry, keeping a professional posture.

“Oh, God! I can’t believe it! Tell me, where did you find your detective certificate? Have you drawn it with crayons?”

How could that clown mistake my driver for a killer or a stalker. I was starting to doubt his capacity of solving mysteries. What the bloody heck? How could a proper detective make such a mistake?

“What? No! Why would I draw my certificate with crayons? That makes no sense! Anyway, Mrs. Noble, you must listen to me. Things like this happen all the time in my profession. Sometimes we… Follow wrong leads,” he said, looking quite desperate. Looks like he needed the money. No wonder! If he was such a bad detective, he probably didn’t have many cases to work with.

“That was pretty stupid, you know? Quite difficult to trust in you that way,” I said.

“Well, in my defense, you've never mentioned a driver. How could I know that the guy who was keeping his eyes on you was supposed to do that? Maybe that one was on you, not me…” he folded his arms, expecting for my answer. Oh, the nerve!

“I should slap you, you know? But I suppose I’m desperate, so you will do,” I said, shrugging. He didn’t seem like the smartest bloke on the block, but he was the only person who took me seriously. “Fine, but there is no way I’m letting you alone after that. You got yourself a Watson and a… Who else worked with Sherlock Holmes?”

“Mrs Hudson?”

“That will do. You got yourself a Watson, and a Mrs. Hudson, right Harry?” I winked at my driver. “Now, let’s investigate!”

“Mrs. Noble, do you want me to bring the car?” asked the poor man. I should give him a free day after being trapped like that.

“Yes. Thank you, Harry. And I’m sorry about that,” I said, and Harry agreed, walking away. “I know my car is not that discrete, but at least we can save time without having to park. Also, I couldn’t get rid of Harry. My husband hired him because of the letters, you know? And he is such a sweetheart...” I said, smiling.

“Seems good to me,” he agreed, acting a bit awkward. He was probably still ashamed after that show. He brought a hand to his neck, and rubbed nervously. “So, let’s have a drink?” he proposed.

Wow! What the guy was thinking about? Just because I decided to forget about him arresting my driver, it didn’t mean that I was willing to go on a date with him. What part of I have a husband he didn’t understand?

“Excuse me? Mr. Smith, I’m a married woman... A WELL married woman! And I’m having none of that nonsense!” I said, pointing to his skinny self.

“What? Oh, no! Not in that way. Absolutely NOT! Never ever…”

“Good…” I said, fixing my coat. He didn’t have to be THAT emphatic. I was just married, not a scary witch. Just a “Not in that way,” would’ve been enough, thank you. “So why drink?”

“I have a friend that can help,” he said. Harry parked the car in front of us, and John took the initiative to open the door to me, so he could spare my driver. Apparently, he was still feeling guilty. Good. I nodded in agreement, while entering the car.

“Let’s drink then! I really need something to cope with this whole situation. Harry, could you take us there?”

“Sure, madam,” he answered, fixing his hat.


	3. A Screwdriver, please

We entered The Boe’s, one of the most famous nightclubs in the city. The place was all decorated in red, with secretive leather booths and a small stage settled up, with spotlights and velvet curtains. By that time, it was still empty, since it hadn’t opened yet, but I could remember the feeling of spending the night in a place like that from the time before my marriage. The staff were already there, preparing the place for receiving its guests. Mr. Smith led us to the bar, where an incredibly handsome man was organizing the colorful glasses of liquor. He had dark hair, blue eyes, and a killer smile. If I wasn’t already married, I wouldn’t mind having a piece of that man.  
“Hey, Jack!” said John Smith, knocking on the counter.  
“Doctor! Good to see you back here!” said the man, smiling brightly.  
“Doctor?” I asked, with a playful smile. That was an interesting nickname for a private detective.  
“Just a nickname,” said Mr. Smith, rolling his eyes, annoyed. Looked like he didn’t like the nickname much. Of course I would use it as well.   
“Oh, hello you! I’m Jack Harkness, at your service,” he said, raising my hand to his lips, to place a quite seductive kiss. I giggled, incapable to control myself. Married woman! I had to keep reminding myself of that.  
“Stop it! She is married!” said John.  
“I really don’t mind,” I said, laughing. “Flirting is harmless, especially if it can get me a free Screwdriver.”  
“Your wish is my command,” he winked. John Smith looked at me horrified, as he couldn’t understand why I was playing along with Jack. Why wouldn’t I? He was a handsome man, paying me some attention. As long as I didn’t act on that, what was the harm? So I just brushed John off.  
“So, how can I help you, Doctor? I suppose you didn’t come here just because you missed my pretty face.”  
John rolled his eyes, the second time since we got there. Looked like Jack had that effect on him. He then leaned against the counter, to get closer to Jack, so he could whisper and not be heard by anyone else in that place.  
“Jack, can you take a look at that for me?” asked John, giving him the letters.  
“Oh, I didn’t know that you were such a romantic. Stop, Doctor! You are making me blush!” said Jack, smiling, while reading the content. He didn’t smile anymore, but he managed to keep a straight face.  
“Looks like you pissed someone,” said Jack.  
“Yeah, right?” said John, trying not to look at me. Smart guy.   
“Oh… Well, what do you want to know?” - Jack handed me my drink. It was classy and cute, in a decorated glass with all those nice colours. It was as mesmerising as tasty.  
“Have you heard of someone trying to kill an actress called Donna Noble?”  
“Donna Noble? Hard to say… the name sounds familiar though, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it in such a nefarious context.”  
I smiled, feeling victorious. Someone who had heard about me! Well, not exactly heard about me, but still better than John Smith’s cluelessness earlier.  
“That’s all you have to tell me?”  
“If you don’t have more questions…”  
“Thank you… For nothing!” said John, folding his arms.  
That could be just an impression, but I started to feel that the things were moving. Even spinning. Something wasn't right with me, but I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation, so I just stopped drinking, and sat on a bench, hoping that sensation would pass eventually.  
“Oy! You are so rude! It’s not my fault. But just to stop you from complaining about me, I know someone that could help. Do you remember Mickey?”  
“Mickey, the idiot?”  
Blimey! That was so rude for the Doctor to say! Almost as rude as keeping spinning with Jack in front of me.  
“I wouldn’t say that if I were you. He works with the Scotland Yard now, the forensics department. Maybe he could help with the letter,” said Jack, winking.  
“Good one, Jack! Maybe you are not that useless after all. So, where can I find him?”  
“Westminster. Where else?”  
“Thanks for your help, Jack. And if you hear something. Anything…”  
“Don’t worry, you will be the first to know,” Jack winked.  
“Let’s go,” said John, to me, hoping I would follow. Normally I would go right away, without a problem, but that day wasn’t a normal one. I was dizzy as heck. Trying as hard as I could, I stood up, and did my best to reach him. Not an easy task. How could a man that skinny walk so fast? Since I took a while to follow him, John looked back, maybe a bit concerned, or just completely impatient. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a small dizziness.”  
“Better stop with the drinks from now on,” he said.  
“Oy! I know how to hold my liquor. The problem is that I took some headache pills earlier, and maybe it didn’t go well with the drink” I said, and that was true. I just forgot completely that I shouldn’t mix alcohol with medicine. Maybe that was why I was paying with my headache and my tipsy state.  
“Wanna go home, take a rest?”  
“Nah! I’ll be better once I get some fresh air. I’ll ask Harry to open the windows of the car. Now, come on! We need to find that bastard!” she said, smiling.  
We got out of the club, and back to the car. Harry, who was waiting for us while smoking a cigarette, stopped to get back to his seat. As I suggested before, we opened the windows, letting the wind come inside. I had a deep breath, already feeling better.  
“Fine, so Scotland Yard now?” I asked, trying to avoid the concerned glances I caught from the two men.  
“Looks like it. Harry, can you drop us there?” asked John.  
“Oh, so now you are already bossing my driver around as well?” I asked, folding my arms. He was so fun to tease! Also, a good way to distract myself from the pain and the dizziness.  
“What? Oh! I didn’t think that you would mind. I mean, you drove us there, and since you won't let me out of your side, I thought…”  
“Don’t worry about me. You should’ve been asking Harry here!” I said, trying to hold a chuckle.  
“I don’t mind taking you there, sir. Actually, I find this whole investigation quite exciting. I wanted to be a detective when I was a little boy,” said Harry.  
“Really? That’s nice! Was it because of Sherlock Holmes?” asked John.  
“Exactly! I’ve always liked those books.”   
“Me too! What is your favorite? Mine is…” That was it! Now they would make the investigation into a literature class. Not that I was complaining, but… Come on! How did John Smith do that? Make everybody like him sooner or later? I wished I had that power over people. “Am I babbling again?”  
“How can you do that? Charm everybody… He dropped you to the floor, Harry! Shouldn’t you be angrier?” I asked, perplexed.  
“Do you want me to be angry, ma’am?” asked Harry, confused.  
“What? Yes! No! I mean, you do you, Harry. You do you.”


	4. Some guys know it all

John and I entered the Police Station. There were people everywhere, officers in uniform, detectives sporting their cheap suits and fancy hats, criminals being thrown on cells, or witnesses sitting around, waiting to be called for their reports. It looked more like a train station than anything. John looked like he was at home in that environment, and I was surprised to see how many policemen greeted him in such a friendly way when we got in. All of them were calling him “Doctor”.

We entered on a room, at the end of the hall. It had a very strong smell of death and formalin, that was quite difficult to bear. That was a big table in the middle, with no chairs. In a counter by its side there was a microscope, and some chemicals that looked cute and colorful on all those bottles, just like the drinks on The Boe’s bar shelves. Just the thought of it made me a bit dizzy. Working on the microscope there was a tall and handsome young man, wearing a scientist apron and protective glasses. He turned around when he heard the door open.

“Oh, no! Not you again!” he said, frowning at John.

“Mickey! Mickety Mickey! I really missed you!” said John, putting on his best smile.

“Get out! You are not ruining my life again!” he said.

“Oh, please, Mickey! I really need your help. It’s a case,” he said.

“I don’t care,” the guy answered.

“It’s important.”

“I don’t care, I’m already too busy with that case,” said Mickey, turning back to his microscope.

The Doctor came closer, grabbing the file that was lying on the counter, and analysing it with his reading glasses before Mickey could even notice. “Let me see… Harrold Saxton… Oh! Looks like you have a hired killer. His nickname is The Master? Cool… But a bit preposterous, don’t you think?” he asked.

“Says the guy who calls himself the Doctor,” said Mickey, taking the file of his hands.

“You know I could solve that for you. It wouldn’t take too long,” said John, a tongue behind his upper teeth. 

“We already have a detective on the case. Now, if you excuse me, I have to do my job,” said Mickey, pushing the Doctor away. 

“Someone is threatening me…” I said. To my surprise, my voice sounded weaker than I expected. I cleaned my throat, before continuing. “They are sending me hateful letters, and I’m scared, really scared. He was the only one who took me seriously. It could be just a prank, but please, I need to know what is going on.”

Mickey turned to see me. Looked like he hadn’t noticed me there yet, since the Doctor entered, and started with all of his shenanigans. He was about to complain, but maybe I said something right, because in the end he just sighed.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“Donna Noble.”

“Okay, Donna, I’m gonna help you.”

“You are brilliant, Mickey Smith!” said John, excited. 

Mickey turned to the Doctor, folding his arms.

“I’m doing that for her, not you. Don’t forget that. Now, what do you want?”

“Can you find something in that?” asked John, giving Mickey the letters.

Mickey put it on the microscope, and adjusted the lens. Then he cut a piece of the paper, and put on a jar, dropping some chemicals in that. He cut another piece, and tried more chemicals, until he smiled, satisfied. He turned back to face us, and took off the protection glasses.

“So, the bad news is that I couldn’t find anything about the typing ink. It’s a comum typewriter ink, you can find it anywhere. But the paper has some minerals in it, and I found traces of charcoal. I would say that whoever wrote that must live near the river, and have some money, because they are buying high quality charcoal.”

“Money? But I don’t remember pissing off anyone posh. Are you sure?” I asked.

“Absolutely. I hope you are lucky and find this person before something bad happens. You look like a nice person, Donna,” he said, smiling. 

“Thank you, Mickey,” I smiled back, grateful. Then I turned back to John Smith, hitting his arm. “And you called him an idiot! Look who is the idiot now!” 

After that I went out. No need to bother Mickey anymore. But even from outside, I still heard the two talking.

“I… I didn’t say that,” said John, embarrassed. 

“I know you, boss. You sure did,” said Mickey, sounding tired.

“Yeah, I did. But I was wrong. You are really good,” he said.

“I know. Now go! I have my own case to work with!” said Mickey, dismissing him.


	5. Break a leg

“You can’t replace me!” I yelled, angry.

“Sorry, love, but we already did,” told me the director. Son of a… How dared he to put someone else to play MY role! Worse than that, no one had informed me about that, I had to discover while driving in front of the theater and my name was nowhere to be seen.

“Come on! I’ve been threatened to death here. And I even called you to tell me I couldn’t come. You can’t take the character from me!”

“We not only can, we did it!” said the guy. “Look, Donna. There is nothing personal, okay? But we needed to do this, and you couldn’t be here, so we had to find someone else. That’s life,” he shrugged. “Besides, a death threat is not such a big deal to skip work. I mean, actors keep receiving them all the time. If everybody decided to take a break after receiving a death threat, no one would do anything in this city. See Jane there? She receives those things every week. And more than one! That means that you are becoming famous, so congrats!” he said, patting me on the shoulder.

“Okay, I don’t mind that you replaced me. That’s theater after all. But Nerys? How could you replace me with Nerys?” 

“I thought she was your friend,” he said, shrugging and going away.

“My friend! A friend doesn't do that!” I yelled, before murmuring “Tart.”

“Hey, are you okay?” asked John, coming closer. I completely forgot he went inside the theater with me, and was watching my tantrum from a safe distance.

“Okay? How can I be okay after that tart took my place?” I yelled, suddenly feeling my headache going worse. I had a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Yelling to the Doctor wouldn’t do me any good. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay in a minute, when I scratch that pretty blonde face” I said, walking away with determined steps. Maybe yelling at him couldn’t help me, but grabbing Nerys' hair would certainly make me feel better.

“Donna, I think it’s better to take a deep breath, before doing something you can regret.”

“The only thing I regret was coming here! I should’ve stayed out! You think you are important, and then they go and replace you!” I walked to the backstage, being followed by him. I knocked on the door of the place that used to be my dressing room. Of course Nerys was supposed to be there.

“Who is it?” I heard her squeaky voice asking.

“It’s me, your tart! Better open this door now, or I’ll find a way to get there myself.”

The door opened, and a skinny blonde woman appeared. She had pins in her hair and was wearing a robe. 

“Donna! What are you doing here?” asked Nerys, all innocent.

“That’s what I should be asking you! What are YOU doing in my dressing room?” I asked, pushing her away and entering. John followed behind, concerned about what I could do. As if I would kill her! No way I would go to jail because of that backstabbing diva. I just wanted to make her suffer a little. Completely fair!

“You were supposed to be happy! I’m doing you a favour! Since you can’t work, I’m here to do the job for you. I heard about the letters, such a sad thing…” she said, not sounding sad at all. For an actress, John expected better acting. “Oh, and who is your friend?” she asked, lightening a cigarette.

“Him? He is a… That’s none of your business! And stop changing subjects! That’s between us! You stole my character,” I said, grabbing her arms and turning her to me.

“I didn’t. I’m just covering you up! What did you expect? The whole production stops because of you? Grow up, Donna!” said the woman. “Besides, the place is still yours. Come do your job, and I’ll step back. Simple as that,” she said.

“Oh, no, Nerys. It’s not that simple, and you know that, don’t you?” asked John.

“What are you talking about?” asked Nerys.

“Shh… Doctor, let me handle this!” I murmured. I knew that snake good enough to have a comeback ready, in the tip of my tongue. Although I liked that John was trying to team up with me, I could handle Nerys on my own.

“No, Donna. I must talk too. You see…” he walked to Nerys, taking her cigar from her fingers. “This cigarette of yours, it has a really peculiar smell. Like cinnamon, maybe?”

“Doctor, not the time…” I warned.

“No, that’s the perfect time!”

“Well, yeah. This one is made specially for me. You see, Doctor, unlike some colleagues, I have an exquisite taste, and I just like to have the best,” said Nerys, looking at me. Excuse me! That girl must’ve had a death wish. 

“Funny thing you say that, because this smell is very familiar,” he said, bringing the cigarette to his nose.

“What? But that’s impossible! I’m the one who rolls them myself.”

“No, it’s not impossible. Maybe just a bit… unlikely. You see,” he said, reaching for his pockets. “This is the same smell that I found in those threatening letters,” said John, handling the letters to Nerys.

“What?” I asked, looking at the Doctor. He didn’t seem to be kidding. “Nerys, is that true?”

“Of course not! That’s ridiculous!” she said, her voice cracking. Oh, God! That was really her! Of all people, I’ve been threatened by Nerys. That was… sad, and shameful. 

“Oh, shut up, Nerys! You are a terrible actress. I know it was you! Of course! The posh charcoal and living near the river… That’s you! How could you do that?” I asked, baffled.

“I wanted to scare you, okay? You got the role, and I was the substitute, so I wanted you out. Is that so wrong?”

“You threatened me, you tart! I thought someone wanted to kill me!” said Donna.

“Well, I did. I got very angry about you, you know?” asked Nerys.

“Nerys, I’m talking about murder, not stupid envy! Do you have any idea how scared I was? I even got a damn private investigator!” I pointed to John, who waved to Nerys. “No offence.”

“None taken,” he said, placing his hands inside his pockets.

“Sorry... I didn’t know that. But things would be easier if you hadn't stolen my character first. That wasn’t fair! I was the one who told you about this play, to begin with,” said Nerys.

“Yeah, but I got the part, so deal with it!”

“Ladies, ladies… There will be other protagonists. You don’t have to fight,”

“Protagonist? Who said something about a protagonist?” asked Nerys.

“Well, vilain then?”

Nerys started to laugh.

“Donna, what did you tell the poor guy? It’s a supporting whole. A small supporting whole,” said Nerys.

“But every part is important in theater, right? No matter what it is. And since Donna is such an important actress…” he started, but was cut by Nerys laughs.

“Important? Donna? Oh, no, sir! She WAS important! Once, ten years ago. She did the Ofelia in Hamlet, and then it was it. Now she just plays mothers, and stepmothers, and old single aunts. Donna is too old to be relevant again,” said Nerys. “But I’m still young enough to play the part,” said Nerys, smiling.

Those words sinked inside my head. She was right, I was old and pathetic. Holding myself into a part because the industry was getting tired of me. And there was I, playing smart, trying to convince him I was successful when I already knew I wasn’t… Who was I trying to fool? I turned away from them, avoiding eye contact. I felt so small… And dizzy, and lost, and my head was now pumping. I just wanted to go home.

“Well, she is so irrelevant, that she still got the part you wanted, didn’t she? So I wonder, who is the most irrelevant here?” he asked.

I looked at him, surprised. When my friend revealed herself as the worst enemy I could ever find, that guy I’ve just met some hours ago was already standing up to defend me. I just wished I was a bit nicer with him before.

“And you know that this,” he showed Nerys the letters. “This is a crime. If Donna wants to, she can throw you to jail. Forever” he said, making it sound more scary.

“What? But it was just a prank. I didn’t have the intent to…”

“That’s not what it’s written here,” said John, pointing to the letters. “Do you want me to read? “You should’ve been dead,” “Aren’t you ashamed, you slut?” “If I were you, I would kill myself,” and “Die already. No one needs you.” They don’t seem like a joke to me.”

“Oh my God! Donna, please, forgive me! You know I didn’t mean that seriously. I just wanted the part. I would never hurt you.”

“Well, I’ll think about it. But you sounded pretty resentful some moments earlier,” I said, savoring my victory.

“Donna, please. I’ll do anything you want, but don’t take me to the cops! Let’s… let’s burn the letters, hum?” She looked desperate, almost crazy. Maybe she should’ve thought about that before threatening me. But that tart still used to be my best friend, so I decided to let that whole story go. I looked at the Doctor, and sighed.

“Take it. But if I get another one of those…” I said, handling Nerys her the letters.

“I understood. I’m not bothering you anymore! That’s a promise.”

“Fine… Keep that in mind,” I said Donna. “Let’s go, Doctor!”

He smiled, following me like an excited puppy. He was almost jumping into me, and all that excitement was making me more and more dizzy.

“Donna, you were brilliant there! Fantastic! I would never have the strength…” he started to say, but I couldn’t listen anymore. I was too concerned, trying to make the world slow down from spinning, and my head stopped pumping. He probably noticed my discomfort, because he turned to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder, making me stop. “Donna, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am… I just need some…”

That moment, I felt I could fall, so I tried to steady myself on the wall. He hushed to help me, and grabbed my arm, so I would have some support. Honestly, that wasn’t working very well. All I knew was that I was having a hell of a time trying to make the world stop spinning, and that made him really concerned.

“Donna, what happened?” he asked.

“I’m okay. That’s nothing,” I said, having a deep breath and walking again.

He followed me, keeping himself close. Suddenly I lost my balance, and tried to grab a piece of scenery near, but I failed, and fell over it, breaking it. Oh, God! They would kill me if they knew I did that mess. John ran to me, and the last thing I saw before passing out was his concerned face. Silly Doctor, I was o-...


	6. What is your poison?

“Where am I?” I asked, waking up.

I was lying on a bed in a weird room. A teddy bear was watching me, side by side with a skull, both over a dresser. There were some flowers on the bedside table, and the curtains were colorful. It looked like a woman’s bedroom, but that definitely wasn’t mine. Where the heck was I? The door opened, and a girl came in. She had dark skin, black hair, she was young, probably in her 20s, and was so gorgeous that she could be a model or an actress. Not like me, but a proper one, playing protagonists and being gorgeous doing so.

“Oh! You are awaken! How are you feeling?” she asked me, kindly.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Martha Jones. I’m the Doctor’s friend, and a doctor, so don’t worry, you are in good hands. Wait a minute,” she said, going to the door. She came back right after, with the Doctor following her. He looked worried.

“Hi, Donna! Are you okay?” asked John with that “poor puppy” face of his.

“I’m fine, just a bit dizzy. Where am I? What happened?”

“You are in my place,” said Martha, waving.

“I brought you here after you fell and knocked your head. Can you tell me how many fingers I have here?” 

John showed me four fingers, and waited. I rolled my eyes. Wasn’t he over-reacting a little? I was okay.

“Four. Now stop making me count, my headache just got worse!”

“Sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said, sitting next to my feat. He seemed a bit tired, and frustrated. That made me wonder how much time I spent like that. Did Lance know I was there? God! He would probably be concerned about me. Someone should warn him.

“Doctor, how much time have I been knocked out?”

“Two hours,” he said. 

Oh, that was a relief! I was starting to remember things as well. Like that backstabbing diva I used to call a friend sending me threatening letters, and stealing my job. No wonder I passed out! Anyone would do the same.

“Sorry that idiot brought me here to bug you. That was nothing, I just got overwhelmed to discover that my best friend is a mean tart,” I explained.

“Donna, that's not the first time you got dizzy. It also happened on Boe’s.”

“That’s because of the screwdriver and the headache pills. I told you that I mixed them up.”

“You had a headache before?” asked Martha.

“Yeah… But that’s just a headache. No big deal!” I said.

Martha looked at me concerned. There was something wrong there, I could tell.

“Doctor, I need to examine her,” said Martha. She turned to look at him, waiting for him to go, but he stayed there, clueless.

“Molto bene,” he said, smiling. I rolled my eyes.

“Doctor! I’m examining Donna!” she repeated.

“Yeah, I understood.”

“Doctor! Unless you want to see me naked, GET OUT!” I said, losing my patience. I wasn’t as subtle as Martha.

“Oh! Okay! Right... Sorry! I’m… I’ll be right there,” he said, leaving.

“OUT!” I yelled, and he left, closing the door. “He is the most clueless detective I’ve ever met,” I told her.

“He is brilliant, but sometimes…” she said, laughing. 

“So, what is it that made you so concerned?”

“Donna, is there some possibility that you are pregnant?” asked Martha.

“No. Unless I’m Mother Mary. It’s been a while...” I said. “I started this play, so I had to stay out most of my nights, and my husband also works, so… But that’s just because of the play, of course.” Lie! That’s been further than that, and completely unrelated with the play. We were falling into that old married couple type of relationship, after the second year of marriage, when couples started to lose that sparkle. Nothing that I couldn’t solve later. Maybe, without the play, I would have more time to come up with something good.

“Donna, the Doctor said you have been receiving threatening letters, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s all on Nery’s. She wanted my job. But now that she got it, there is nothing to worry about anymore,” I said, shrugging.

“Do you mind if I do a quick exam?”

“Go on!” I said. “Do you think I’m sick?”

“I don’t know for sure. I just want to figure out some things first,” she said. Martha listened to the beats of my heart, and my lungs. She raised up, taking a book from a pile in the corner of the room. She looked for something before reading for some moments and turning back at me. She held my hands and examined my skin. She looked at my eyes, and back to the book. All that movement was making me anxious.

“Donna, can you wait a moment?” asked Martha, getting out of the room without listening to my reply.

“Oy! What is happening! Tell me!” I demanded, sitting, but she was already too far to listen. She got me, I was concerned. And nervous. And I needed to know what was happening there. I raised up, walking out of the room. Martha and the Doctor were talking, both looking worried. That didn’t seem good.

“Donna, go back there. You have to get rest,” said Martha, concerned.

“What did you tell him?” I said, sitting on a couch. No way I would be lying there until they decided to tell me what was wrong with me.

They exchanged glances. Then the Doctor sat by my side and grabbed my hand. Weird… It was almost like he was going to tell me I was going to die. But I wasn’t, was I? 

“Donna, Martha thinks that, considering your situation, you might have been poisoned.”

“What? What do you mean poisoned? That’s impossible! Unless... Do you think Nerys poisoned me?”

“I don’t know, but it seems unlikely,” said John. 

“So who would?”

“Have you eaten something different?”

“No, I’ve been dieting. I just eat at home.”

“The cooker! She is the culprit” said Martha, excited. Too much excited for my taste.

“Good theory, but no. We don’t have a cooker. Unless you are implying I’m poisoning myself.”

“Okay. So, do you take medicine on a daily basis?” asked the Doctor.

“Sleeping pills, only.”

“Ha! Who knows about the sleeping pills?” he asked, coming closer.

“No one. Just me and Lance.”

“Your husband?”

“Yep”

The Doctor looked worried, and so did Martha. What could they probably be… Oh!

“Wait! You don't think that Lance would do such a thing! That’s impossible!”

“No… It’s just a bit improbable, but it’s not impossible,” said John, that cheeky idiot!

“Oy! You are going too far, Mr. Smith! I’m not staying here to get you to defame my husband! He is a good man, and he loves me!” she said.

“Okay… I’m sorry Donna. That’s my job to think about all the possibilities,” he didn’t seem sorry at all.

“That’s not a possibility! So you better watch out! 

“Fine, right…”

“Well, you have rest. You knocked your head, so we better watch you for at least a couple of hours, just to make sure you are okay. I’ll be back with something that will make you feel better,” she said, and John followed her out of the room.

Being alone, that insane idea of Lance poisoning me kept coming back to my mind, nagging me. That made me think: What if? But that couldn’t be right, could it? No! Lance would never do such a thing to me. We had problems, as any other couple, but he loved me. I knew it, for sure. Still... I thought the same about Nerys… I’ve never thought Nerys would go so far to threaten me just to get my job, but she did. Although things were different with her, weren’t they? Nerys and I were always rivals. Still… Oh, for God’s sake! How dared the Doctor to place that absurdity in my mind?

Martha came back with a syrup that tasted terrible.

“What now?” I asked, a bit grumpy.

“That will make you feel better with the dizziness. Also, I’ll give you some pills, for the head.

“Okay, Thank you. Again, sorry to bother.” I wasn’t mad at Martha anyway, so there was no point to keep being rude with her. 

“Is the Doctor still there?” I asked.

“Yeah, he is next door, do you want me to call him?”

“Yep.”

Martha got out again, and brought the Doctor back with her. He waved, uncertain. Bloody puppy eyes! My hatred was drifting away! 

“Doctor, I’m in!” I said, sounding more cheerful than planned.

“What?”

“You two think I’m being poisoned, right? And the poison might be on my pills. Well, so let’s test it. How can we know for sure?”

“Well an easy way would be get the pills and take it to Mickey again,” he said.

"Fine. Let’s go to Mickey then.”


	7. Sweet girl next door

Martha and I were waiting for the results of the exams outside of the lab in the precinct. Mickey was inside with the Doctor, and they were making tests for at least one hour. I was worried. Terribly worried. Time seemed to be frozen forever there, and the thought of being poisoned by my husband started to nag me more and more. I was beginning to feel paranoiac, so I needed the results of those tests. I needed to prove to myself that Lance was off the hook. I could worry about my guilt of suspecting him after the test results.

“Don’t be so nervous, Donna. Maybe I got it wrong,” said Martha.

“Yeah…”

“It could be heartburn. Or a liver problem. There are many options…”

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Sorry..."

I smiled. Martha was a nice girl. That was a pity that nothing could help me to relax that moment. Still, she was being such a doll with a complete stranger, that I felt that wouldn’t be right if I just ignored her.

“So, you are dating Mickey Smith, right? Good call. He is very smart and sweet,” I said.

“Yeah, I know…” Martha smiled, looking at the lab’s door.

“And still you have a small crush on John, right?”

She was shocked, and blushed so hard that she was almost a living tomato. I had to contain my laughs to not sound rude or hurt her.

“Oh, no! I… I don’t” she denied.

“I’ve noticed the way you look at him. Those loving eyes, the way you got jealous when he asked if I was alright… It’s pretty clear, actually. I wonder how he never noticed.” 

“He couldn’t… You know how clueless he is. Sometimes I think he decided what to notice, and what to ignore, so he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences. I think mine is the second case, so I won’t do anything about that,” said Martha.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated... It's just better leave that way," she said, blushing.

I decided it was better not to press her. For some reason she didn’t want to talk about that, so it was better to leave it that way. 

"Besides, now that Mickey and I are together, I feel something really nice with him. More than just attraction, you know? And I really wanna try with him. We understand each other.”

"You don't have to explain. I get it," I nodded, smiling. Again, I was just a stranger, so she had no obligation to explain to me her feelings for the Doctor, or for Mickey. And that lead me to my second question of the day:

“Why do you call him Doctor?” I asked.

“Oh!” she smiled. “That’s because he is an expert. He used to work here some years ago, and he was the best detective from Scotland Yard in this century. You know the Zygon case? That was him! And you know Mr. Sandman, the serial killer? His.”

“Wow! That’s quite impressive. So how come he is working on a small dirty office on the other side of the city?”

“A woman…” said Martha, a bit resentful. “Rose Tyler, that’s what I heard. Mickey told me she was young, pretty and adventurous. And blonde! That’s very important!”

“Right! It’s always the blondes, right?” I asked, smiling.

“Exactly! Anyway, after the war they got engaged, so he decided that life in Scotland Yard was too dangerous. They opened the office together, and she used to follow him while he was investigating.”

“Well, that wasn’t a good idea. That place looks abandoned. I wonder how he can even pay the bills!” I said, laughing, but Martha didn’t join me. “So, is that why you can’t declare to him? Because he is married?”

“He is not married. Rose died,” said Martha,, and that really surprised me. “She was killed by an old enemy of his, probably seeking revenge. Mickey said the Doctor watched that happening, he even shot the man, but Rose was already dead.”

“Oh, God! So that’s why… Poor John Smith!”

“But don’t tell him that I told you that, please,” she asked.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

I felt the urge to hug him. I couldn’t imagine something like that happening to me. If someone killed Lance, I think I couldn’t live anymore. Even if our marriage was shaken, I loved him a lot. And that brought me back to my concerns. Lance wouldn’t try to kill me, would he? That was nonsense... Bollocks...

They got out of the lab, both of them seemed wary. They looked at me, and I held my breath, waiting for one of them to say something. For a moment the silent was unbearable, and deep in my heart I knew something was wrong. Suddenly I wasn’t so certain if I wanted to hear the news.

“Sorry, Donna… I’m so, so sorry!” said John.

And that’s when I knew. My heart skipped a beat.


	8. Back to the bar

“It’s not exactly my husband, it could be anyone, right?” I asked, while we were back to my car, in the comfort of the backseat. Everything we talked about in the Scotland Yard seemed so distant. At least the dizziness got better since Martha and Mickey gave me something with a weird name that turned up to be an antidote.They said the effect was still reversible, since I just had the first symptoms. Looks like my killer wanted to poison me slowly, so I wouldn’t realize that until it was too late to save myself. How kind!

“Yeah…” said the Doctor, uncertain. He was terribly comforting people, that’s for sure!

I gulped.

“But the evidence points to him, right?” I was expecting him to say “no”, to announce the whole thing was a prank, but he didn’t.

“Looks like it.”

He looked at me, concerned. I don’t know if he could guess what I was thinking, because I couldn’t. That was all a mess, a blur in my head. Maybe if I hadn't discovered it, nothing would have happened. I tried to convince myself of that. Maybe there was something wrong there. I just couldn’t admit that… Admitting would make everything sound real.

“That’s bonkers! No way my husband is trying to kill me. Why would he?” I said, feeling my tears falling over my cheeks. The doctor didn’t know what to do, so he placed a hand on my shoulder, comforting me. That didn’t help me to solve that madness, but at least made me feel less alone.

“Donna, we don’t know for sure,” he said, and I nodded.

Harry stopped the car in front of the Boe’s. Funny thing how we were there just some hours before, but to me it looked like centuries. I looked up, drying my tears, and John Smith smiled kindly at me. That idiot! How dared he try to make me feel better when his life was also a tragedy. That made me feel so pitiful.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. You can wait for me here,” he said.

“No, I need to. If there is still a chance to prove that Lance has nothing to do with that, I want to be there.”

“Maybe things don’t go the way you expected. Is that alright to you?”

“No… But I don’t know what else to do,” I said, holding myself from more tears.

“Come on, then,” said the Doctor, helping me to get out of the car.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Noble,” said Harry, holding the door for me. As the Doctor did before, Harry was also trying to be sympathetic, his own shy way. God bless him!

“Thank you, Harry,” I smiled.

“Mrs. Noble, do you want me to go in with you?”

“There is no need, Harry, but thank you for offering” I said, sounding far from my witty-self.

He smiled.

“I’ll park near that phone box. I’ll be waiting there, if you need me,” he said, and I agreed. He was such a sweetheart.

The Doctor entered the club first, grabbing my hand so we wouldn’t get lost from each other, and opened the way to the bar, since the place was crowded. Inside the Boe’s, all we could hear was the loud music and all the talking, cigarette smoke turning every color to a pale gris. The handsome guy was there, still on the other side of the wooden counter, but he was quite busy that time. When he saw us coming to his direction, he smiled, but suddenly the smile faded, to be replaced with concern.

“What happened?” asked Jack.

“Things got… complicated,” said John, a hand on the back of his neck.

“Another drink, beautiful?” he offered.

“I can’t,” I said. “But a glass of water would be great.” 

The Doctor smiled at me, to make sure that I was alright. Then he leaned on the counter once more, to get closer to the handsome barman. 

“Jack, do you know where I can buy cyanide?”

“Wow, Doctor! What are you planning to do?”

“That’s not for me!”

“Worse! Killing is not the answer,” he said.

“It’s about our case,” he pointed to me.

“Oh! That escalated quickly. From death threats to cyanide, all in the same day!”

“You tell me,” I said, trying to smile.

“Don’t say you got that from me, but there is a place where they sell it. A lot of people buy there. They say that it’s the favorite place for the criminals to get their supplies. Those Hittler-loving Daleks go there, also the Cyberman cult, and the Master, they all go there. It’s a small green door in Kreston Street. It takes to a hidden black market."

“Right! Got it!” said John, winking. “Thanks, Jack!”

“Good luck!” Jack waved. 


	9. The man behind the gun

We entered the small door on Kreston Street. John was the lead, I was in the middle, and Harry was the last one. That place wasn’t safe, so Harry, being his kind-self once again, offered to come with us. John convinced me to accept, saying the more the merrier. I wasn’t sure about the merry part, but certainly two tall skinny men in suits were better than just one, especially in that place, so I ended up agreeing. I could smell the illegality and mobster’s sweat from the entrance.

Getting down the spiral staircase, we got to a corridor, it had just one door in the end of it, so we walked till there. I gulped, feeling scared and a bit excited, all at the same time. The Doctor opened the door and there was the market, with tents and small shops everywhere, and customers walking around. We could buy anything there, from bottles with drugs, to weird animals in cages and collectible items. All looked a bit shady. 

“Act naturally,” said John to us, and both me and Harry agreed. John looked like a natural, as he already was part of the scenery. The child-like detective that I met through the day was out, and a different man was there. I had to admit I preferred the puppy version of him. That John was pretty scary. I gulped.

“It’s okay, ma’am, you don’t have to be afraid,” said the driver, who was walking behind me. 

“Thank you, Harry. You are a good man,” I smiled.

We kept walking till the Doctor stopped on a tent. There was an old woman there, her hair was in an updo, and she was wearing a black dress. She looked at us uninterested. 

“Do you have cyanide?” asked John, shortly.

“No, but that old rag has. There...” she said, pointing to a man, sitting by himself just two or three tents from where we were. The man’s hair was gray, but he looked younger than the lady. Just like her, he seemed uninterested by our arrival. He didn’t seem very eager to sell, in the end. 

“I was told you have cyanide,” John said, using a deep tone.

“Who wants to know?” asked the man, and I looked at John nervously.

“I’m the Doctor, those are Ginger and Driver,” he said.

“Never heard about you,” he asked suspiciously.

“We could fix that, old rag,” said the Doctor, with such a terrifying glance that even I shivered in fear.

“I have it, but just in powder,” the man said, as scared as I was. At least he was starting to take us seriously for once.

“Does it take too long to have the effect?” asked John.

“The same as always,” said the old man. 

“So, five days would be enough?” asked John.

“If you want to make it look natural, you could make it last for a week or more,” said the old man.

I was disgusted. I couldn’t believe we were discussing how much time it would take to kill someone with cyanide. Worse than that, I couldn’t stop wondering if Lance had that same conversation with some of those vendors, when he was planning to kill me. 

“Ginger, go ask about the snake for me. Driver, help her,” said John, all authoritarian. Normally I would have slapped him to call me ginger, but since we were on a mission, pretending to be the worst people in the universe, I agreed. He was probably trying to spare me from all that cyanide poisoning talk. Harry followed me to the next tent.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Noble?”

“Yes, Harry. Don’t worry.”

He smiled, and I smiled back.

“You know, they have some pretty weird stuff here,” he said, trying to distract me.

I smiled, grateful for his kindness. I looked around, finding specially curious all those spiders inside a big transparent jar. They were big and creepy, and I would hate to find something like that in the middle of the night. Thank goodness my killer wasn’t the creative type. I sighed. I still couldn’t believe it was Lance, and a big part of me was convinced it was all a very bad dream.

“I can see that,” I said. “Creepy little things.”

"Some of them are not that bad. Have you seen the bats?” he asked, probably trying to distract me. 

I looked around, and saw a cage with giant bats. They were almost vampires, and that was pretty scary. I was about to make a snarky comment to Harry, when I saw my husband, walking around. He didn’t see me, but he entered a shop. My heart dropped, and I felt it way heavier than before, as it had turned into stone. Lance was there! He was really there!

“Harry, have you seen my husband?” I asked, but my driver looked surprised.

“Mr. Bennet here? Are you sure ma’am?”

“Yes, I am!” I said, feeling as the ground had opened to swallow me. I couldn’t deny it anymore. My husband was really there. I ran to the Doctor, being followed by Harry.

“Doctor, my husband is here,” I whispered to John.

“What? Are you sure?” he asked.

“I am. I know I saw him!” 

“Where is he?” asked the Doctor, talking through his teeth.

“That shop,” I said, pointing to a door. “We must follow him,” I said, taking the lead.

The Doctor called me. Harry did the same, but I didn’t care. I had to follow Lance, I had to talk to him. I saw him entering a door, and followed. He was my husband, for God’s sake! I wanted to... No! I HAD the right to get my answers. That was dark inside, I couldn’t see anything or anyone. Where Lance went? I felt the Doctor behind me.

“I saw him, Doctor. He is here,” I said.

“Are you sure this is the right place?”

“Yeah.”

The door suddenly closed and all became dark. Suddenly, I felt someone grabbing my arms.

“Oy! Let me go! What the hell is going on here? Lance, is that you?” I asked, but there was no answer. Instead, someone gagged me with a piece of fabric. I started to struggle and scream, but that was in vain.

“Doctor!” I yelled, but it came out as a muffled sound.

They sat me on a chair, and tied my arms. Then a light was turned on over my head. I felt my head pumping on something. Someone. There was someone else behind me. I tried to call the person, but there was no answer? Could it be the Doctor?

“Donna...” Yes! That was the Doctor, but his voice was weak. What have they done with him? I yelled again, but my words were indiscernible. 

“Hello, Donna,” that was Lance, coming to me. I looked at him surprised. What the heck he was doing?

“It is so good to hear you silent for once! After two years your squeaky voice started to drive me crazy.”

My voice? What was wrong with it? He had never complained about my voice before.

“You know, Donna. I should get a medal for marrying you. I was a hero to all of mankind! But even a hero gets tired of you. A person has limits…” he said. What he was saying? It looked like he was a martyr, and I was a damn monster. But I’ve never forced him to marry me. Okay, I might’ve nagged him a bit to propose to me, but he played along with it. How was I supposed to know he was annoyed by me? I… I just wanted to stay with him, because I loved him. Was that wrong? I felt my tears running down my cheeks again.

“Oh, and here goes the crying! Cry me a river, Donna…” 

“You bastard! That’s why you poisoned her, because you were tired of Donna?”

“You must be the Doctor, right? Or detective John Smith. I’m sorry my stupid wife dragged you into this,” said Lance.

“Donna is not stupid,” said John.

“Oh, Doctor, you don’t know my wife as I do. All she knows are celebrities and cosmetics. That idiot doesn't even know what the capital of Germany is, and I’m not exaggerating. Tell me, Doctor, could you spend your life with a woman like that?”

“She loved you! That should be enough,” he said.

“I’ll take that as a no,” said Lance, walking away.

After all those years, after everything that happened. I loved him! I was loyal to him! And that was what I got? No way!  I started to move again, trying to free myself. The ropes were too tied, but I couldn’t care less. I yelled, asking for freedom. He obviously couldn’t understand me, but it worked. Rolling his eyes, Lance took the fabric out of my mouth.

“Talk, you tart! Talk! Even like that I can’t stand you!’ he said.

“How could you, Lance?”

“What were you talking about love, Doctor?

“I loved you, you idiot! I really do!”

“You are pathetic Donna. You, know, I’m done with the talking. Master, end your job,” he said.

Harry stepped into the light.

“Harry? What is going on here?” I asked, confused.

“Harold Saxton, Donna” said John.

“Who?”

“The guy Mickey was investigating, Harold Saxton.”

I looked at Harry, surprised. He smiled, amused. God! Even the driver!

“It’s you? And you paid for him, didn’t you? So the poison… Oh my God, Lance!”

“Donna, you are so thick! I can’t believe it took you that long to understand,” said Lance, folding his arms. 

“Lance, we can work that out! I can change.”

“Sorry, Donna. But it’s necessary. You see, I want to marry Racne.”

“Racne? Your secretary? Are you kidding me? That tart? You are doing all that for that tart? Lance, I’m gonna kill you!”

He laughed.

“Let’s finish this, I have another appointment later,” said the Master, annoyed.

“Okay. Start with the detective then,” he said.

“My pleasure.” 

“Wait! He has nothing to do with that! Let him go!

“No, Donna. You don’t need to…” said John.

“Sorry to drag you on, John. I didn’t know my husband was such a knob!”

“I won’t miss that. Not at all. Actually I won’t miss anything about you. Not even the sex,” laughed Lance. That was hard to hear. Looked like he wanted to kill my soul before ending the job. That was torture.

“Killing two will double the price,” said the Master.

“Really? Come on! You brought them here!”

“Are you complaining?” asked the Master, and I couldn’t recognize him anymore. His kindness was nowhere to be seen.

“Fine then! I can pay you with her money,” he said.

“So that’s it! You also wanted the money, right? You wanted to get rid of her, but stay with the money. So you started poisoning her. But then what? It wasn’t fast enough?”

“Exactly! She started receiving the letters, and the idea came. Easy, right? While the police is investigating the letters, I’m off the hook”

“How could you?” I asked crying again.

“Now, I’m just going. You can handle this, right?” he asked the Master, with a satisfied grin.

“Just go,” said the Master, rolling his eyes.

Lance went away and we stayed there, tied up. 


	10. For better or for worse

“Bastard!” I screamed, before Lance disappeared. “You will see. If I get out of here, I’ll ask for a divorce! You are not taking a single coin from me! Did you hear me?” I asked, but soon I started to cry.

“Sorry, Donna,” said John.

“What about you? Are you part of that too?” I asked, rudely, not knowing who to believe anymore.

“Me? I’m innocent! I wouldn’t be tied up with you if I was teamed up with them, would I?” he asked.

“Yeah… I suppose you are right,” I said, sighing. “Sorry, John.”

“No, that’s fine!”

Harry was watching us in silence, and smiled at our interactions.

“Oh, I’m gonna miss this,” said him, walking around us. “That is a pity that your idiot of a husband paid me to kill you. I have no idea why you married him…” said Harry, putting some bullets inside his gun.

“What? Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“Oh, no! I think he is a loser! If it makes you feel better, I liked our little investigation team. We did a good trio, don’t you think? I know that I had a lot of fun!”

“You did? Oh, please, take us out of here, Harry!”

“Sorry, but I can’t. I was paid for it. But here, if it makes you better, I promise to kill your husband after I finish here. I’ll even do that for free,” he said smiling.

“Oh, now I’m feeling SO much better!!” I said, sarcastically.

“Donna…” warned the Doctor. He was right, better not make the psycho angry.

Harry laughed.

“Let her talk, Doctor! That’s part of the fun! It’s a pity indeed... As for you, Doctor, well I liked playing detective. I had no idea that was how it was done! Good to be part of the other side sometimes!”

“There is still time, Harry,” said the Doctor.

“Oh, please... Call me Master.”

“Master, you can join us! That’s not late to do what is right!” said the Doctor.

“Oh… That’s so tempting! But no! You see… I like this life. The thrill of killing! You wouldn’t understand... I guess this is it. It was a pleasure to meet you guys. See you next life,” he lifted the gun, pointing to me first. 

I closed my eyes, holding my breath. That was it! I was threatened, poisoned, but in the end I would die by a gunshot. How lucky… I tried to remember my life, have an enlightened vision about the meaning of it, but my mind was empty. I was too busy being scared to think about anything else. Dying was taking longer than I expected. They said the time slowed down when you were about to be killed, but that was ridiculous, right?

“You know… Looking from here, you two make a good couple. You should consider that in the afterlife.”

“Oh, for God’s sake! Do it already!” I complained, and Harry laughed. 

“Donna Noble, you are a gem! See you!” he said.

And that moment, I heard a gunshot. I screamed, and started to cry, but I was okay. A wave of relief invaded my body. I was safe! But then, if I was safe that meant that… Oh God, the Doctor!

“No! Doctah!!!” 

“Donna? You can open your eyes now,” I heard John’s calm voice talking directly to me. I opened my eyes, slowly, afraid to be having that conversation with a ghost. I was waiting for angels (or demons), but all I saw was the Master knocked out on the ground, and John free, right in front of me.

“Hello!” he smiled, waving at me.

“What happened?” I asked, finally freeing my hands.

He showed me a swiss army knife.

“You!” I punched his arm. “Did you have it all the time?” 

“Yep” he nodded, with a cocky smile.

“And why didn't you tell me?”

“Sorry? Part of the plan, I guess,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Now come on, before this lunatic wakes up.


	11. New beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thanks for those who read so far!

The sun was already up in the sky, but I had no idea what time that could be. The police was on the Black Market, arresting the Master and shutting of the place. As for Lance, he was caught outside. Looked like the Doctor had predicted everything, so he warned Mickey, who sent the Scotland Yard there. And that bastard never told me anything about that. Nevermind... It was done, and we were safe. I just wanted to go back home, and sleep for a while. I was feeling so tired, that I almost couldn't keep my eyes open. Someone gave me tea and a blanket, but that wasn’t helping me much. 

The Doctor came closer to me, and sat by my side. He didn’t have a blanket, but he looked as tired as I was. He was quite a mess, and I wondered if I looked the same as him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired… Lost… Alone…” I answered, sighing. “So, you knew about Harry, right?” He nodded. “Since the beginning?”

“No. I first got suspicious at the way to Martha's place. He took the longest path. A driver should know there were at least two or three streets that he could have chose to get there quicker. Also, he was doing a phone call when we were at Boe's. I acted like I didn't care or noticed, so he thought he was off the hook, especially when I convinced you to let him follow us into the Black Market.

“So that was planned.”

“I wondered what he wanted to do,” he said, shrugging.

“You are a good actor, you know? Have you ever thought about it?” I asked.

“Not my thing…” he said, and I agreed. That was a pity, I would love to work with him again.

“So, what are you doing now?” he asked.

“I don’t know… Looks like I lost my job and my husband on the same night. Lucky me...” I smiled, insincerely. In fact, I wanted to cry again. But even from crying I was tired.

“Donna, I’m so sorry,” he placed a hand over mine, kindly.

I gulped, holding the tears. No more crying allowed! Not because of Lance. Instead, I hugged him.

“Thank you for everything Doctor. And I’m sorry if I was difficult.”

“Well, you are paying me, so... ” he said, and I looked up to him, scandalized. Did he have no sensibility? But he was just teasing me in the end, so I laughed.

“You know how to ruin the mood,” I smiled.

The police passed through us with the Master, his hands were tied over his back. He smiled at us, winking. 

“That guy is bonkers, but I’ll really miss our little investigation team,” I said, taking another sip from my cup.

“Really?” asked John.

“Yep. Except for this life-threatening part. I didn’t like being almost killed, you know?” I said, winking. He laughed.

“I was thinking… Maybe you could work with me…” he said, the tip of his tongue touching the roof of his mouth. Was he tempting me?

“With you?”

“Well, earlier you said I needed a secretary, and you once were a secretary, so…”

“What you want is a maid to clean up your mess!”

“No! Nothing like that!. The thing is… I also liked working on a team today… And I wouldn’t mind if you investigated with me…”

“Oh! So I would be like a detective too?” I asked, excited.

“I was thinking more like a plucky young girl who helps me…”

“I’ll pluck you in a minute!” I said. The young girl part was nice, though. 

“What about a companion, then?” he asked.

“Doctor, do you think I’ll drop my successful career as an actress just to join you on all of that nonsense?”

His face dropped. Poor puppy! He was so excited in one moment, and so frustrated in the other. Looked like a boy who woke up to find a tangerine on Christmas morning. So easy to tease...

“Yeah… You are right…” he said, clearly disappointed.

“Because I will,” I said, smiling.

“Wait, what?”

“Let’s do this! Me and you! Let’s solve crimes together! We just have to change the name. No way I’ll answer for John Smith.”

He laughed, back to his energetic self, and hugged me.

“Oy! Hands!” I said, also laughing.

“What about John Smith and associates?”

“What would that make me? An associate?”

“Well, yeah…”

“No way, José! We need a proper name, no John Smith!”

“Fine… We can think about that later. But, just to make sure, that’s a yes, right?”

“Sometimes I wonder if you really are a detective. So slow…” I smiled, hooking my arm on his. 

“Allons-y?” he said.

“Allon- what?” 

“It’s french, for let’s go.”

“Oh! Allons-y!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Hope you guys liked this.


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